In this blog post, Heather Tallman Ruhm MD, the Medical Director of the Documenting Hope Project, discusses how coregulation can help your child heal.
What Is Coregulation?
Coregulation refers to the dynamic and reciprocal process of emotional exchange and mutual regulation between two people, often within the context of a caregiver-child relationship. This concept is pivotal in supporting emotional stability and fostering secure attachment bonds.
It is the attuned, responsive interaction by parents and caregivers that creates a safe and supportive environment for children. Through consistent, warm, and responsive caregiving behaviors, parents help children navigate their emotions, experience safety, and develop healthy stress-response systems. Coregulation is essential for children’s emotional and physical well-being as it lays the groundwork for self-regulation and resilience.
How Do Parents Coregulate with Children?
Parents play a crucial role in coregulating with their children, employing various strategies to create a harmonious and nurturing environment. Central to this process is the caregiver’s ability to attune to the child’s emotional state and respond appropriately. Parents can use several methods to effectively coregulate with their children. These strategies help children feel understood, supported, and safe, laying the foundation for their emotional and physical health.
Presence and Attunement
Being emotionally and physically present for the child, acknowledging their feelings, and matching their emotional state through empathetic communication can help calm a child and provide a sense of groundedness.
Consistent and Predictable Routines
Establishing reliable daily routines provides children with a sense of security and stability, reducing anxiety and promoting emotional regulation.
Modeling Healthy Emotional Responses
Demonstrating adaptive ways to cope with stress and emotions helps children learn similar strategies and fosters a sense of safety.
Physical Touch and Comfort
Offering physical affection like hugs, holding hands, or gentle touch can significantly soothe and regulate a child’s nervous system.
Why Do You Need to Feel Safe in Your Body to Heal?
Feeling safe in the body is an essential precursor to healing. When children feel secure and grounded, their bodies can shift from a state of heightened arousal and stress to one of relaxation and repair. There is a profound connection between safety, the nervous system, and the body’s capacity to heal.
When the body senses danger or threat, it activates the sympathetic nervous system, leading to a state of fight, flight, or freeze. Chronic activation of this stress response can impede the body’s ability to repair and maintain health. Conversely, feeling safe activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for rest, digestion, and healing processes.
Creating a sense of safety allows the body to:
Lower Stress Hormones
Reducing the production of cortisol and adrenaline, which, when elevated, can negatively affect the immune system and overall health.
Enhance Immune Function
A calm state facilitates optimal immune function, aiding in the body’s defense against illness and disease.
Promote Digestive Health
A relaxed state supports efficient digestion and nutrient absorption, essential for overall well-being and healing.
What Are Ways to Feel Safe in the Body?
There are various strategies to cultivate a feeling of safety in the body, enabling better health outcomes. Some recommended practices include:
Grounding Techniques
Engaging in practices that connect individuals to the Earth’s energy, such as walking barefoot on natural surfaces, is another way to feel safe. Grounding helps in stabilizing the body’s electrical system and reducing stress.
Mindfulness and Meditation
Regular mindfulness practices and meditation can help individuals become more attuned to their bodies, reduce anxiety, and promote a sense of inner calm.
Breathwork and Deep Breathing Exercises
Conscious breathing techniques can activate the parasympathetic nervous system, helping the body to relax and feel safe. Children often respond well to breathing exercises such as belly breathing and box breathing.
Physical Activity and Movement
Gentle exercises such as yoga, tai chi, or even stretching can help release tension, improve bodily awareness, and contribute to a sense of well-being.
Creating a Supportive Environment
Surrounding oneself with supportive and understanding individuals, and utilizing resources that promote emotional and physical safety.
In Conclusion
Coregulation and feeling safe within the body are vital components for healing. Through attuned caregiving, grounding techniques, and mindfulness practices, parents and caregivers can foster a sense of safety and optimize the health and well-being of children.
About Heather Tallman Ruhm MD
Heather Tallman Ruhm MD is the Medical Director of the Documenting Hope Project. She is a Board Certified Family Physician whose primary focus is whole-person health and patient education. She draws on her conventional western training along with insights and skills from functional, integrative, bioregulatory and energy medicine. She believes in the healing capacities of the human frame and supports the power of self-regulation to help her patients recover and access vitality.
Dr. Tallman Ruhm graduated from Montana State University and later the Kennedy School of Government at Harvard where she received a Master’s in Public Policy. She attained her MD degree from the University of New Mexico School of Medicine and completed her Family Medicine Residency in Colorado and Alabama.

She has practiced ambulatory medicine from coast to coast, first at the Whitaker Wellness Institute in California, and later multiple integrative clinics in New England. She served as a college professor for over a decade where she taught Pathology and Foundations in Complementary Health and Wellness, a course she co-designed. She is a sought-after public speaker who currently maintains a part-time private practice in Southern New Hampshire. You can find out more about her on her website drtallmanruhm.com
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Sources & References
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